Here we are at the beginning of a new school year. You’ve purchased curriculum, decided upon classes and bought all the fun organizing products to help your teen succeed in the coming school year.
Now you must decide how this year is going to play out. Someone will be deciding how much work must be accomplished in each subject your teen is studying. For a large majority of us, this pacing schedule is dictated by a third-party. But the day-to-day is up to us.
It is in the teenage years that we begin to delegate the job of time management to our students. And, rightly so. But one of the greatest things teens struggle with is time management. There are so many things that must be balanced – schoolwork, family time, sports, hobbies and now possibly even a job. So even though you’re loosening the reins, you’ll still need to walk alongside them as they navigate this new skill set.
Start by talking big picture. Break the day into three large chunks – morning, afternoon, and evening. Have your teen choose which of these two chunks of times will be school hours. They will have to choose times that work best for both your family life and their productivity time. Leave the third chunk free for other activities. Do your best to maintain these times either by writing out a large chart for the wall – or by having them keep a weekly planner clearly outlining these times.
If you’re not sure what really works best – have them spend the first three weeks of school keeping track of how they spend their time. Just like you did when you first started budgeting your money – write down where time actually goes. From there, your teen can make a more realistic plan. Remember that it takes at least six weeks to build a habit, so it’s going to be up to you to help them protect their academic time.
We, as parents, need to recognize that sometimes it is us causing the time management frustrations. We inadvertently overload our teens with coursework or activities and there simply aren’t enough hours in the day to get it all done. Take a hard look at your priorities – and let go of items that are unnecessary.
Teens also need to learn the art of tackling the difficult, or least-liked, projects first. Your teen may be great at getting Math done since it’s their favorite subject, but they always leave Biology for the end. This means that Biology is always looming before them – and when they get there, all of their energy has been spent on easier or more loved subjects. Teach them to put those more difficult tasks into the freshest parts of their day and get them over with. They may also find that they grasp the material better and come to love those once-dreaded subjects.
Teens (along with the rest of us) can also get overwhelmed when large tasks are looming. Show your student how to break the task down into smaller steps and then tackle one step at a time. If the entire list still looks like it’s too much, cover it with a piece of paper so that you’re only looking at one item at a time.
One of the most difficult things about time management seems to be those time-wasters. While we do need down time, we don’t need wasted time. I won’t spend much time discussing social media distractions as that is a whole other article, but we are all painfully aware of how much time can be eaten up by our devices. I recently reading a book by Tim Elmore and in it he makes the point that most new technology claims it will save time, yet it actually beckons us to spend more time using it. This is especially true of social media. We easily get sucked down the rabbit hole of scrolling through our feeds. Technology is not going away, so we must work to manage it. Spend time as a family devising a plan to minimize or compartmentalize your social media time. Be willing to make the same sacrifices with your devices that you are asking your teens to make.
While we are on the subject, if you haven’t already, you should consider a good internet filtering program for your family. Even though we are allowing our teens more and more freedom, it is still good to be “wise as serpents” in this digital age. There are several good monitoring programs out there to choose from.
As teens learn to manage their time and their social media, we need to be ready to administer some tough love. In other words, when they fail at something due to lack of planning or because they made some poor choices, let them also experience the consequences. Don’t adjust the deadlines and don’t quickly step in to take up the slack. Sit back and let them figure it out for themselves. It may mean they receive a poor grade, or they don’t hold up their end of the bargain in a group project – but they need to FEEL that. It is a great learning moment. One that will last much longer than the poor grade. And – if they manage to succeed in still getting the work done, or they have that conversation with a teacher and work out a plan – they have successfully learned the art of conflict resolution.
Recognize that you’ll be taking one step forward and two steps backwards at times. This will be a trial-and-error process as you figure out, together, what works best. It’s a process you’ll have to repeat with each of your children and each outcome will look different. But just like with all other tasks – doing the hard work now will pay off in the future. Here’s to a great school year as you build new habits!
Joanne Mastronicola is our Operations Manager and serves to support PEP from the big overall picture down to the day to day details. To the students who know her, she's “Mrs. M”, because let’s be honest… who really knows how to say her last name? She has a tradition of going on a solo trip on the day of her birthday which has included sky diving and going to Boston for lunch (yes, from Florida to Boston just for lunch). She brings a high level of excellence to her work while embracing the fullness of life along the way. We're so grateful Joanne is such an integral part of PEP!